Sunday, May 13, 2012

One last thing ...

Mother's Day 2011
I don't suppose anyone needs to have any advanced degrees in psychoanalysis to know my emotions have been close to the surface this week.  That explains (in part) my tears at Sydney's letter this morning.

Last Mother's Day as my family gathered for a weekend away, I had one prevailing thought.  How will I get through Mother's Day next year? Looking back on the last bittersweet Mother's Day weekend. Knowing she was with us one year, and not the next.

But I am making it through. A few people have told me how the lead up to all the big milestones after a loss is harder than the actual day.  I found that true about Thanksgiving, Mom's birthday Christmas and now Mother's Day.  Last week was harder. Today is okay.

I remember her for all the love she had for me and all her family. But I had fifty Mother's Days with her.  And this morning I experienced the other of Mother's Day: as a mother, rather than as a daughter.

Mom spent the last fifteen Mother's Days without being able to give her Mother wishes. And this year they are together again.
My Grandma's 95th birthday and I think the last photo my Mom had with her.  She died about sic weeks later.
Miss you Mom. Say hi to Grandma.

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