Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Dear Me, In March

Dearest me from last March;

I know it will be a very great shock but any day now you will receive the list of school supplies for the next school year. In our day this could never have happened because it was be quite presumptuous to assume a person would pass to the next grade, when only one report card had been received.

Be that as it may, you will get the list of supplies with the kind offer of pre-ordering the supplies from a school supply business for an extortionate entirely reasonable rate if you at all value your own time running between stores and remembering to bring a tape measure to ensure it is a 7 inch scissor and not 6 or 8. 

You will find the list broken into two.  The "must buy" items are consumed each year, like paper, notebooks and a box of tissue.  I pause here to remark that this is the biggest rip off in elementary education as my son at least does not use tissue when he has a perfectly good sleeve on his shirt.  Anyway,  the second part of the list are items one might have. Scissors, dictionary, protractor.

You will cast your mind back to the very end of Jackson's kindergarten year. Of course you had already ordered the school supplies for the following year, but Jackson came home with a colourful goodie bag with a completely unused paint set, a pencil box full of pencils etc.  And then you realized the point of having the bifurcated list (I just Googled to make sure I used that word right -- I think I did). 

Every year since then you have dusted off your divining rod in spring to prognosticate for each kid:

A.  what supplies will come home at the end of the year; and
B.  what supplies you will still be able to find at the end of the summer.

I am here to tell you: just order the whole bloody list.

You are only saving a few dollars and finding the calculator in a box of old clothes after an exhaustive search of the basement is really a tough way to spend the first Tuesday after Labour Day.  You will be happy to know that you will find an old set of paints and will salvage it with only 30 minutes of cleaning it with toothpicks and a wet paper towel so one can ascertain the difference between yellow and red (versus 2 extra shades of orange).  You will find about 13 pairs of scissors but don't really know if the 'right' kind  for either class. You never will learn what "Kleenearth RECYCLED" scissors are. Or where to measure the 7 inches on a pair of scissors.

Oh and you won't need to order a new protractor as the one you paid for use in grade 4 comes home entirely unused.


Me, In September


Beth said...

oh heather ... how true ... our school finally stopped those boxes as our local drug store manager got wise, got his hands on the lists and ordered everything the kids needed ... god bless that man (and the safeway clerk who carded me at 40 years of age) ...

good luck with school this year ...

Konnie said...

You got carded at 40??? You young sexy thing!