Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Dear Finnegan,

Happy birthday! You have survived one year on planet earth and about nine months in our custody.  I hope you enjoyed your presents as much as we enjoyed giving them:

However, now that you are no longer a puppy, I must issue a cease-and-desist order for the following behaviours:

1. Devouring pencils as fast as a wood chipper leaving remnants everywhere.  Have you not seen how little we like to vacuum?  I cannot believe we have not heard the words "bowel" "obstruction" and "$2000" in the same sentence yet.

2. Digging.  Especially in our bed.  What do you think you are going to find there, anyway?

3. Barking at your nemesis dog, who I grant you does seem to egg you on. I believe I speak for everyone living within a 10 block radius when I say: give it up. I do not know what you two are up to, but it will not be resolved by a bark-off.  I propose a game of rock paper scissors.

4. Treating the kitchen table as your own personal buffet/staging area. I realize that toast crusts are often left there and they will go to waste if you don't eat them.  And that you have a much better chance of seeing nemesis dog from up on the kitchen table.  But it is considered poor canine form. That also goes for napping on the table even if Sydney leaves a hoodie there now and again.
5. Jumping up on people who come to the door.  While I heartily agree that the jumping up may slow down the stream of Jehovah's Witnesses to a trickle.  They come to the door and do not feel at all deterred by the "no soliciting" sign I put on the door for them especially.  Even if they insist on coming not to solicit but to "invite" "share" "discuss" and "show", I think on balance the play dates are really going to dry up if you cannot stop pulling on the girl's pony tails and hanging off the boys' hoodies.

Your bad habits notwithstanding, I commend you for melting our hearts daily.   Your general adorableness, playful nature, happy disposition and extreme enjoyment of belly scratches more than make up for your failings. Here's to many, many, many more years!!

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