Sunday, September 19, 2010

Why I Am The Way I Am

I am quite certain that many people of my acquaintance think my neuroses, be they innate traits or learned behavior, are unnecessary and perhaps even slightly damaging to my children.  The specific neuroses I am talking about, and there are many, is the control freak gene.  The requirement that I remind my children OF EVERYTHING. That I understand the rules, parameters, required items and schedule at all times.

I admit, I try to manage things closely. To know what is coming. To prepare.To organize.

I suggest that this neuroses is caused by my children. In support of my hypothesis:

Monday morning, first day in new classes.  Despite being told where to line up to enter the school, Jackson was not clear.  He asked me to phone the mother of a friend. NOTHING but that would calm his nerves. So I phoned and appeared as nervous Nellie mother, trying to sort out where Jackson has to line up for class.

Tuesday, Jackson was asked to bring pastels to class. I miraculously dug up a set that has all the colours in the rainbow.  I told Jackson they are in his backpack, where they are the next day as well as he disavows any knowledge of their existence.  Two days later I stuffed them into the pocket in his planner thinking that he can't write anything in the planner with a large lump of pastels in it.  He told me that evening "Mommy, I found the pastels!" as though he successfully executed a treasure hunt. One day later they are back in the backpack, destined never to make it to school to reside with the remainder of his school supplies.

Thursday, first of "Lunch Lady", where we pay extortionate prices NOT to have to pack a lunch. I  told both kids that it was Lunch Lady day. I told Sydney twice more because last year despite being told, we received a call from the school office advising that we neglected to pack Sydney's lunch. I am so on top of this. 

9:00 a.m.: call from Sydney's teacher advising we forgot to pack her lunch and could we drop it off?

Friday, we were a little behind in the drop off.  We might have been okay if the school ran it's clocks by the atomic clock as we do in this house.  But they run fast and where we should have have 2 minutes for the kids to shuffle to their classes, we actually had minus one minute. Jackson arrived at his assigned exterior door only to find it was closed.  He was on his own.  With full credit for problem solving skills, he checked two other doors, hoping he could sneak in, only to be disappointed.  He went for the only door left: the front office door. But it had been drilled into his head "FRONT DOOR IS A NO GO ZONE."  Incredibly, he absorbed that rule.  Well part of the rule, he failed to absorb that last bit "... AFTER SCHOOL"  Kids that are late in the mornings (and that is rarely us) go to the office for a late slip and then shuffle off to their class.

But Jackson put his thinking cap on: how was he to get to his class through the front door without being noticed?  He crawled in, escaped the notice of the secretary and chief dispenser of late slips. He was kind of proud of his solution.  I have to admit, I am too!

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