Wednesday, April 21, 2010
She is your perfect Stepford child. Most of the time.
Unless she has something to pout about. And then she will cross her arms, purse her lips and pout. She will speak no intellible words only make utterances like "hhhmmmphh" and "arggummphph" She will stamp her feet and otherwise make it know she has a problem with someone or something but is loathe to reveal with whom she has the grievance or what it might be.
She inherited the pout gene from me. I held my emotions for ransom and would nurse the hurt for an excessive amount of time.
The thing is I seemed to revel in my victim-hood. The more I pouted, the more justified I felt in whatever emotion I was harboring. Even if it was unjustified or entirely trivial. When I cogitated on any percieved transgression long enough, I can make anything seem momentous. And any real legitimate beef was not dealt with in any constructive or productive way. I just stewed about it.
So I am trying to give the Girlie Goo a leg up on my experience. While I am tempted to entirely ignore her pouts, I don't think that is helping her. I try to give her some empathy and get her to name her problem.
Honestly, a lot of the time it is something RIDICULOUS ("why do you make me brush my teeth EVERY DAY!!"). Or unfixable ("Why couldn't I be older than Jackson!!"). Something she perceives as unfair which isn't ("why can't I have TWO turns after Jackson has ONE?").
But I know she is feeling those things and getting her to name it and own it is the short term goal. The long term goal is her accepting that she will never be older than her brother and that she does need to brush her teeth EVERY freakin' day.