Friday, April 30, 2010

The Cool Mom

I always wanted to be the cool Mom. Not necessarily the kind every kid in the neighbourhood wants to hang out with, but at least not the entirely dismissed, goofy mom that kids roll their eyes at. (please, nobody burst my bubble).

I don't talk or dress hip enough to gain this status. I did think that perhaps a well place witty remark might earn some grudging respect from the kid set.

But I recently attained this status, quite without my effort or even knowledge.

A friend was driving Jackson home from a play date and he said to her "We are soooooo lucky in our family."

"Why?" my friend asked.

"We have our own lawyer."

I didn't know how popular lawyers have become in the grade 3 set. Another mom told me her son routinely "lawyers up". Apparently, the kids act as each other's counsel. One kid has an entire entourage of lawyers at his disposal. Don't ask me what kind of representation you need in grade 3.

Perhaps: "Mrs. B, my homework isn't done. My lawyer will be speaking to that."

Or maybe "Hello Mrs. B, I'm Jordan's lawyer and I'd like to talk to you about the non judicious desk placement in the classroom this week".

So you can imagine how my currency increases compared to the 8 and 9 year old lawyers others have. Until now I have used my legal skills at home for manipulation and coercion. As in "I can't leave you home alone while I pick up your sister. It's illegal. I should know. I'm a lawyer." and "You HAVE to go to school. It's the law. Do you know I'm trained to know all about the laws? Do I need to call the police?"

My utility has exceeded the chauffeur-laundrywoman status and I am now capable of doing the things lawyers do.

Which are, in case you didn't know:

1) to sue people and makes lots of money.
2) to intimidate people so they will give you lots of money.

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