Saturday, February 6, 2010
Struggle for Power
And to lose control as a parent is abject failure.
But that isn't taking the long view. Seeing the big picture. Keeping my eye on the ball.
In the course of requiring compliance to my rules, I lost control. I nagged, I yelled and I even belittled. This, to put it mildly, did not bring out the best in the J Boy.
Our ultimate goal as parents is not to have a child who will put on clean underwear when we issue an edict. We want to raise a child who is respectful and gracious and is able to form good relationships. And knows how to have fun.
And so sometimes when the lad is having a hard day, I need to realize that clean underwear is not the most important thing. At that moment, it is less important that I hold the line on clean undergarments and more important that I remain calm.
Maintaining a good relationship and remaining respectful and gracious myself is what I need to focus on. It is VERY hard for me to let him 'win'. To let go of that bit of control. But I need to be the grown up here.
I started doing that more after that fateful cage match last Friday. And every day since then has been good. That is what I call winning.