Valentines Stress!

For years my Valentines 'to do' list comprised of :

1. (mandatory, unless good excuse like weather warnings, illness or bad hair day) buy card for Husband.

2. (optional) try to have lunch with Husband to exchange cards (if we both remember to buy them and bring them to lunch).

As our kids got old enough to eat chocolate, I figure we’d add to the list:

3. Buy chocolate in large quantities so that I can give them a few small pieces and eat the rest myself.

When J. was in preschool at the first parent meeting (in September) we were told that the kids were to sign the Valentines for the other 19 kids in the class. And the 2 teachers. Now J. was actually TWO when he started preschool. His colourings were usually squished circles only very loosely tied to any part of the colouring page. I couldn’t imagine getting him to write his name (which has SEVEN letters) 21 times in only six months. Is two too young to get a tutor?

I was first in line to buy the Valentines at the store (in October). As Valentines Day approached (by which I mean just after New Years), I could feel the ball of stress in my stomache. I set a plan of getting J. to write “J” on the Valentines. That would have to do. There was pleading. There was begging. There was bribery. There were tears. But with a day to spare we finished our project. I couldn’t be prouder (mostly of myself as getting J. to do anything he doesn’t want is on par with negotiating peace in the middle east).

On the appointed day of the Valentines party (complete with red or pink snacks and a red or pink dress code), J. had his stash of Valentines ready to go. When I picked him up later with his heart-decorated bag of mail, I was in for a shock. First of all pretty much every kid had written their full name, even the ones I unfairly thought were destined for special ed classes. Some of their printing was more legible than mine by a significant margin.

But what really shocked me was the adorable (nauseating) scrap-booky Valentines. Some of the parents had not bought the $1.99 box of 36 Valentines as I had. They had lovingly (gloatingly) used card stock in 3 shades of red, cut in concentric hearts and decorated with rinestones or metallic ribbon that could even put Martha Stewart to shame. Who had this kind of time on their hands?

Year two of the Valentine showdown, J. was still not writing his entire name. He had mastered the J. (I was now free to admit that the J’s from the previous year were more of a line with a slight curl to it in whatever direction the pen went before he threw it across the room). Now his J’s were well formed. He could write our last name which a) is mercifully short, and b) contains no letters with any kind of curve. Again, with careful planning, lots of time and mood stablizers, we had our ziplock bag full of signed Valentines with J. and our family name.

The handwriting of his peers had improved even more. I swear a couple of them had been taking calligraphy classes. Forebodingly, I did notice J. received a few chocolate kisses in his mailbag.

Year three of Mommy vs. Valentines I had 2 kids to coerce into their John Hancocks. As happens with second children, the bar was lowered (and I had S. in a less amibitious preschool). I was happy for S. to do any kind of scribble on each card as I sealed them up with pink hearts the size of a pinhead. J. was in kindergarten and could know write his entire name (though a couple letters were backwards). He was however, defiant about the Valentines if only because it’s something I asked him to do. Still we persevered.

When both kids came home on V. Day with their brown bags I saw a lot of candy. There were Hershey’s kisses, foiled hearts, red and pink jelly beans. What is this? Halloweeen?

This year, J. not only signed his name but wrote the names of his 21 classmates and 2 teachers. Virtually no encouragement from me. Which was good, I was busy talking S. into writing her name (she can actually do it if you take a Picasso-esque view of her signature). We made the mistake of signing her up for 2 preschool classes so she had 2 parties and 2 sets of signatures to do.

I can tell you the word is out on the street. ADD STUFF TO YOUR VALENTINES. S. got enough chocolate and candy to send our dentist on an African safari with 13 of his closest friends. Plus a bracelet, three pencils, stickers, a notepad and a heart-shaped balloon.

Can you feel the love.

p.s. Happy Valentine’s Day!